Come As You Are
by Pokiepup
Summary: A tender moment in time taking place a few hours after Hale's death. Lauren, Kenzi, Bo-mostly L/K friendship, brief Bo. One shot told from Lauren's POV, written for Olansamuelle who co-won our bet. Congrats.


_**Come As You Are**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

"Hey," she greets me softly, her voice shaky and her eyes a faint shade of pink. My eyes travel down her bare arms from her shoulders to her hands-her bloodstained hands.

"Hey." My own response flat and soft, eyes stuck on her hands as a sick feeling begins to stir in the pit of my stomach.

"I didn't know who else-I don't have anyone else to—"

"It's fine Bo." I nod and lift my small, black, over-the-shoulder bag that I am gripping rather tightly. "Doctor after all."

"Ye-yeah. I forget that sometimes." She pushes the door open before starting to walk away.

"You forget I am a doctor?"

"Yeah—I mean no. I mean I remember you're a doctor but I just forget it sometimes. Like I mean you aren't set up in an office somewhere seeing sick people from nine to five, I just-nothing my mind is kinda fucked right now."

"Yeah," I swallow hard as she comes to stop next to a yellow bucket with blood smudges along the side of it. A matching yellow sponge on the ground beside it though the only thing yellow about it anymore was the very tip of the left corner. "Are you okay?" I ask but it's more out of instinct than anything else.

"Yeah—yeah I'm fine. I—I will be." She rushes her words to the point they are a near mumble and my eyes dance over the floor, along the small distance there is between the bucket and the decent sized blood stain. "Sh—she wouldn't let go of him—seeped into the wood a bit. I'm trying to get it out but—" she pauses using her forearm to wipe her face, whether it's to stop building tears or manage an itch I am unsure of. "Fuckin' Mr. Clean lied-his magical sponges can't get everything out."

"Bl—blood is one of the hardest things to get out, especially once it dries." It's a halfhearted statement that is once again more of a reaction to being spoken to. My eyes staring at the spot as if I looked hard enough it would vanish-problem was the harder I looked the more I could see a picture of Kenzi clinging to Hale's lifeless body.

"You don't say." She snorts, this getting me to look up at her. "I—I'm sorry-rough night."

"It's fine." It's always fine Bo-it's always fine. "If you're okay I'm going to," I trail off giving a slight nod toward the hall leading to Kenzi's room.

"Yeah, of course." She says it but the way she says it is as if I need her permission—I shake my head as I walk away, I had all night once I left to wallow in self-pity centered around her—right now was about Kenzi. "Lauren?"

"Yeah?" I ask looking over my shoulder just as I come to the edge of the hall, another second and I would have been out of sight.

"I um," she starts, tender eyes starting to glass over once more. Her lips part and she looks as though she is going to say something but she swallows hard and gets that '_holding something back'_ look she gets from time to time. "Just thank you for coming for me—I know with Re—everything—just thank you."

"It's not for you." My words soft and as gentle as I can manage given the circumstances surrounding us but none the less-it's a blow to her-I can see it how her features twist, how her body tenses-an unintentional blow but one none the less.

I tear my eyes away from her and walk down the hall, its maybe twenty feet at most yet I don't think I've ever taken such a long walk in my life.

I reach for the doorknob and go to enter but find myself hesitating-a deep breath to calm my nerves-and then another-and then another.

"GET OUT!" I hear a broken scream as something flies through the air landing against the wall next to me.

I think it's a glass candle-or something glass with the way it shatters.

She is laying on the bed on her side, back toward me—I don't think she knows it's me. The room is pitch black except the light now seeping in from behind me. I've never been in her room so it takes a moment to find a lamp I can turn on, taking another moment I mentally map the room before shutting the door behind myself leaving us in pure darkness.

One step over a single boot-one step over something I think is a shirt-one step to the left to avoid another pair of boots and then it's another three steps of smooth sailing to the nightstand with my destination.

A slight fumble but I get it on, and as I was hoping it's a tiny light just enough really to allow me to see her clearly.

Taking another breath I walk around the bed to her, she must realize I'm not Bo since she isn't violent any longer but she has her face buried deep in Hale's shirt, clutching onto it for dear life.

I run my eyes over her, she is covered in blood-but I honestly don't think any of it is hers. She has a long smudge along the outside of her thigh, her hands and forearms are sporadically covered, what I can see of her face there smudges as well and her shirt-well there is no saving it.

Bo had called me because she thought Kenzi had been physically hurt, the young girl wouldn't allow her to touch her and well apparently today was a day Bo conveniently remembered I was a doctor.

Problem is-Kenzi isn't hurt-not in the way that she would need **my** assistance.

I look toward the door seriously contemplating leaving, after all this was Kenzi and I'm not equipped to deal with THIS. Then the soft sound of her sob nearly rips my heart from my chest.

Dammit.

I drop my bag on the floor before moving onto my knees, a sigh escaping as I shuffle through my bag pulling out a bottle of alcohol and a new package of twenty, six-by-six inch gauze. I pull three out and fold them in half as one before pouring a little alcohol over them, it spills onto the floor a bit but I don't think she cares.

Reaching out I lightly place it to her thigh and she jerks slightly, my eyes moving to her face that remains buried in what she has left of him. My left hand reaches out now grabbing ahold of her knee to keep her from moving as I begin wiping the blood away.

It takes a solid minute to get it completely off her thigh, it's pink from my actions and from traces that I won't be able to remove for her but it is ten times better than when I started. Turning it over, I scoot over moving my left hand to her waist. It was slightly intimate especially considering half of my hand is on skin but again it's not something she is concerned with now.

I get most of it off soon enough but the gauze is completely full now. I drop it to the floor and grab another three preparing them the same way as I had the other set. Once properly prepared I move back to my task cleaning off her one arm before I carefully move it away—surprisingly she allows me to. I gently wipe the part of her cheek I can get and then the other part of her arm.

Once full I drop this alongside the other and get another set prepared only this time I rest it on the floor.

"Kenzi," I whisper as I use my left hand to grab her wrist and my right hand sliding under her stomach as I try and get her to sit though she remains dead weight. "Kenzi, please." I plead this time after several seconds of silence.

This time when I try to get her up she aids me.

She is sitting up now, swollen eyes at half mass, her still un-cleaned hand clenching to his shirt. I take a breath and wipe away what's remaining on her face before covering her hand with my own.

"Just for a minute." I promise her and though there is hesitation she allows me to clean her hand.

When I finish I make sure to hold her hand in mine to keep it from grabbing the shirt again, as I awkwardly drop the gauze. With some difficulty I bring myself to my feet before pulling her up to her own, this beginning to earn a reluctant response.

My hands slide to her tiny waist, fingers slipping under the hem and she looks up at me-it's not a look to stop or of anger or of-anything.

"Trust me." I whisper as I begin pulling her shirt up over her head.

I drop it along with the mess I've made as I reach over and grab his shirt off the bed. It still smells like him, I can smell it from here—maybe it's just the room and I hadn't noticed it until now.

I try my best not to look directly at her considering she is now in nothing more than panties, it's awkward yet at the same time it's not.

She was a child compared to me, she was pretty-beautiful even but again she was a child in my eyes-a broken one at that. I was a doctor as well, I had seen plenty of people naked and it meant nothing but this-there was a certain level of intimacy surrounding us in this moment and it didn't feel right to look at her.

I get the shirt around her body and begin buttoning it, it's so big on her that it practically engulfs her-good it's what she needs—what she wants.

"Kenzi you need to-" I raise an eyebrow and look down toward her waist.

She just gives me this look-this empty look.

I nod, and look around the room seeing this was going to seriously breach my code of ethics. On a pile of clothes to my left I find what I am looking for-pair of baby-blue and white striped boxers. It takes a total of eight steps there and back before I find myself taking a deep breath and holding it.

I'm sure this was violating a code of ethics somewhere-or at least of our ethics but I don't have much choice now do I?

I crouch down and reach under the shirt quickly grabbing the material and pulling it off in one swift motion as clinical as I could. I toss them aside into my mini bloody pile before managing to get her into the boxers.

She just stares through me but doesn't move.

I scoop up the discarded bloody clothes and napkins before I stand, and walk to the door. I pull it open with a free hand and debate about walking it out to Bo but instead I drop it into the hall before closing the door again.

I turn around to find her back where she started, on the bed in a half ball with her back to me.

I sigh and against my better judgment I walk to the bed and slide in next to her, not so close that I am touching her but close enough that it's not as if I am trying to avoid touching her. My back and head resting against the wall, hands in my lap.

"You know when Nadia died," I take a sharp breath, mind already wanting to rewind this moment. "I couldn't think—I couldn't even remember to breath. It was like I was watching myself go through the motions but it wasn't me. I didn't feel like I needed to drink or eat or go to the bathroom or anything because it was like if I shut down then it wasn't real."

I look down at her still motionless.

"Thing was I mourned her death two years, six months and seven days before she actually died. I just woke up one morning, started my day and just suddenly realized she is dead. I realized she wasn't coming back. I mean I went on and lived in a sort of state of denial but I had really accepted that fact way before the incident."

I take another breath and look back up at the wall.

"After she died—I mean really it was hard and-but it didn't hit me the way you would expect. I got over it rather quickly and people—people judged me for that. They thought I was cold or that I had just moved onto Bo and said screw this poor woman who had been cursed and even died because of me. But it wasn't like that."

I stiffen a bit, eyes shifting to the door.

"The point I am trying to make is that no one can tell you how to deal with this, no one can tell you how to mourn him, and no one can tell you how to feel or how to act right now. Not I, nor Dyson, not even Bo-no one-and if they try to, you tell them to fuck off."

I start to sit up, readying to move off the bed until suddenly there is this weight on me.

Kenzi had rolled over onto me. Her arms wrap around my waist with a near scary strength while her face is buried into the top of my stomach. Her hand brushes against my arm and instinctively I jerk it back at the pain, my eyes shifting down to her hand that is gripping my side.

It's his ring-her engagement ring.

She mumbles something into my stomach and I have to shut my eyes for a moment to keep my own building tears at bay.

My left arm draping over her shoulder as the right rests over her arm, hand holding onto her elbow. I contemplate rubbing her hair, maybe it would relax her enough to sleep but-I don't want to push it so I just hold her close.

"What?" I ask as gently as I can after she mumbles something once more after several minutes of a thick silence that broke only when soft sobs escaped her.

"I was going to say yes."


End file.
